A single mom needs love just the same as any other woman, especially if she’s a divorced or widowed woman. This is because the divorced woman and the widow were already in a presumably loving relationship, but has now lost that relationship, and so there is something missing – a gap to be filled. There is also a love void in a single mother who has never been married, because she has obviously been in some kind of relationship as well. But being a single mother suggests that there are children involved, and children at different ages respond differently to another man, other than their father, being involved in their mother’s life. Love and the single mom – a guide to online dating, aims to present hints and tips that a single mom could find useful.
Filling a Need
Love means different things to different people, and there are different types of love. For example, there is:
- the love between parents and children,
- the love siblings have for each other,
- romantic love between the genders, and
- the love God has for mankind.
Everybody needs love of one kind or the other, and everybody experiences at least one kind of love – the last one in the list above. Love and the single mom, however, has implications for love of the romantic kind. She has at least one need, the need for companionship for herself. She also may have another need – the need for a good man in her child’s or children’s lives, who can provide a measure of stability and security.
With the advent of the Internet, the dating experience does not only happen face-to-face anymore – at least not at first. A guide to online dating is a helpful tool, because there can be and have been varying outcomes from the dating experience.
There are advantages of online dating and these include:
- Common statuses:
There are online dating services dedicated to single parents, and this removes the hassle and worry about finding a date who might have a problem with a partner being a single mother because he has to consider her children, since she is the type he is looking for in the first place.
One such dating site, http://www.parentfishing.com/, aims at bringing single moms and single dads together, with the understanding that each already knows what is involved in dating with a family. It is a free service, requiring the usual sign-up and inputting of relevant information so that a possible match for the applicant can be found.
Online dating sites provide single moms with the convenience of searching for and possibly finding a partner from the comfort and convenience of her home, thereby removing the trouble of having to secure a baby sitter to stay with the children while she visits bars or night clubs or attend parties in order to do so.
All that is required in the process is that the single mother accesses the site, registers, and places her ad by completing her profile. This can be done at any time, from any location on any computer or laptop.
Some of the sites offer a free service, while others charge a small fee for upgrading to paid memberships, such as http://singleparents.about.com/gi/o.htm?zi=1/XJ&zTi=1&sdn=singleparents&cdn=parenting&tm=114&f=21&su=p284.9.336.ip_p504.1.336.ip_&tt=11&bt=1&bts=0&zu=http%3A//www.singleparentlove.com/, which offers one free membership and two upgrades to gold, then platinum statuses.
There are also sites that are dedicated to specific religious persuasions, some that match partners according to their personalities, and still others that simply use the information supplied in applicants’ profiles.
Online dating can provide single moms with some fun. Because of the anonymous nature of emails, single mothers can go that route and create impressions and illusions of who they really are, while they indulge in intimate fantasies.
Singleparentlove.com allows paid members to communicate using emails, instant messages, and chats, as well as by sending and receiving video greetings.
But there are also disadvantages to online dating. According to http://uadating.net/dating/online-dating-tips/71-disadvantages-of-online-dating.html, these include:
Members to online dating sites have reported incidences of dating partners over the phone (which some services permit using the computer) for a lengthy period, then when they were ready to meet the other parties vanished into thin air. A search for such a person would not even be worth the effort.
It appears that some men have what are called attachment issues. They enjoy visiting online sites for the heavy involvement that is possible, and the quick exit that the medium offers. They operate on a sample-and-discard basis, as someone would do with candy, but single moms should value themselves more than that.
Applicants sometimes lie in their profiles, even to the point of sending photographs that are younger than they are, or very different from who they really are. Single mothers need to protect themselves from such persons.
Being Stood Up
This usually refers to a bride or groom being left waiting at the marriage altar for a mate who does not show. However, in online dating it occurs when a woman goes to meet an online partner for the first time, but he does not show. The man, who should play the dominant role in the relationship, should make the effort to go to the lady, or they could meet each other half-way, thereby indicating commitment to the relationship.
Love and the single mom is a guide to online dating which tries to sensitize single mothers to the ins and outs, ups and downs, and potential of a medium that the advent and advancement of the Internet has made available to single mothers in the pursuit of love and companionship. It is possible to seek, interact with, and obtain worthwhile partnerships through this medium, and even have fun while doing it. Despite, or perhaps because of, its anonymity, however, some persons have been hurt, emotionally if not physically, by unscrupulous participants. Caution is advised!